


Can't Not

by NeonMidnightMod



Category: wrestling - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-21
Updated: 2009-10-21
Packaged: 2017-10-02 13:10:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonMidnightMod/pseuds/NeonMidnightMod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>NC-17; m/m, language.</p><p>Circumstances bring Shawn and Marty back together, years after the breakup of both the team and their relationship. Could this be a second chance?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Not

**Author's Note:**

> Maintainer note: The author of this story is Nishia, fic previously archived with permission at Neon Midnight (geocities.com/dedicatedtotherockers)

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: To Fay, my beta, I don't know what I'd do without you.

NOTES: Sorry but I don't know what Marty's tattoo actually is, the picture wasn't very clear, so I guessed. If anyone does know, let me know.

 

 

Marty Jannetty walked the arena corridors with great trepidation. Every distant chuckle, every creak of a door, every rumble of wheels made him start almost violently. At even the vaguest suggestion of movement he'd turn on his heels and flee so fast in the other direction that he was sure there'd be scorch marks on the floor where he'd been.

 

A loud screech and a mumbled curse somewhere nearby damn near stopped his heart from beating and when he'd recovered sufficiently, he cussed himself out for being such a girl.

 

There was no reason why he should be feeling so nervous, no reason at all. Sure it had been a long time since he'd played to a crowd this big but he'd done it many times in the past, once in this very arena. So, if it wasn't the crowd and it wasn't the arena, then just what was it that had him scared of his own shadow?

 

If he was honest, he'd have to admit it was Shawn, or more accurately the thought of actually seeing Shawn again after all this time.

 

They'd talked for the first time since their split, about a year ago. It had been an amicable discussion, Shawn hadn't sounded bitter or angry but he hadn't sounded happy either and therein lay the problem. Nothing had been resolved between them, there hadn't even been an attempt to do so and Marty had absolutely no idea how his ex lover felt about him these days. All Marty knew was that HE still harboured guilt over the way their relationship had ended. The screaming matches, the accusations, the physical fights all weighed heavily on his mind, overshadowing the happy memories he had of their time together and somehow convincing him that Shawn would be a fool to forgive him.

 

He realised of course that the meeting was unavoidable. They were scheduled to receive an award for best ever tag team at the show tonight, that was why he was here and a part of him was looking forward to it. Shawn would always hold a special place in his heart even though what they'd had was long since over, but another, much bigger part of him was terrified and he thought he'd really much rather wait until they were surrounded by people before facing him, just in case things got ugly.

 

The people noises became louder as he rounded another corner. It was drawing closer to the time of Vince's planned ceremony and Marty found he could no longer excuse his wanderings. He needed to stay close, Vince would be real pissed at him if he missed it.

 

Maybe, if he locked himself in the bathroom until it was time, he'd be alright. Just so long as someone knew he was in there it'd be okay, wouldn't it? He decided it would, and once he reached the locker room, he made a quick dash for the stalls at the back, making sure the only person currently inhabiting the room, saw him.

 

"Hey Ric."

 

"Marty." Flair stifled a chuckle. He had a pretty good inkling of what was going on in Marty's head, he'd been in the business long enough to recognise a nervous bathroom dash when he saw one. He wasn't sure exactly why the other man was nervous but he suspected it had something to do with Shawn. "You okay?"

 

"Yeah I... I just ate some bad shrimp or something."

 

"Uh huh." Bad shrimp? Oh yeah, it was definitely something to do with Shawn. Deciding not to press the issue, the white haired man continued dressing. He was just fastening his cuff links when the locker room door swung open and one of the production crew bustled through.

 

"Has anyone seen Jannetty? Vince is going postal 'cause he can't find him."

 

"In the john." Ric gestured in the general direction. "Bad shrimp." The production guy sighed in relief.

 

"Thank fuck for that. Tell him he's got five minutes."

 

"Will do." The production guy left and Ric turned round to see Marty already exiting his stall. "You heard?"

 

"Yeah, I heard. Christ, I feel like I'm gonna hurl."

 

"Hmmm. Bad shrimp'll do that to ya." The two men exchanged a look in which Marty silently confessed the real reason for his nerves. "Look, for what it's worth, Shawn ain't the type to hold a grudge for too long."

 

"Even against me?"

 

"Even against you. Now come on, let's get down to the ring. You've got an award to receive."

 

Marty took a deep breath and followed the older man out into the corridor, thinking to himself...

 

//I hope you're right Ric. I REALLY hope you're right.//

 

* * *

 

There had been a definite look from Shawn as he'd flown past his old tag team partner, a little late for his entrance. Marty had been unable to read what it was but it had been there. A couple of minutes later, he heard his own music blaring out from the speakers and he began to make his way down the ramp.

 

His stomach was churning violently. He'd successfully managed to keep out of Shawn's way up until this point and now was the moment of truth. That unavoidable confrontation. He was almost tempted to turn and run.

 

A loud chorus of cheers accompanied his climb up the steel steps, but as he ducked between the ropes, he barely heard them. He raised his arms in a gesture of triumphant return, smiling broadly at the jubilant crowd, thankful that they no longer believed that everything that happened in the ring was real and he didn't have to pretend to be the heel. He could be himself, just plain old Marty.

 

Despite all his posturing and playing to the crowd however, they held little of his attention. The majority was focussed squarely upon Shawn.

 

Shawn had aged well. Much better than he himself had, or so he thought. His hair was a little shorter and a little thinner but he still had that twinkle in his steely blue eyes and he still had that same wickedly sexy smirk. He still had that indefinable something that made him what he was, "The Showstoppah!".

 

The occasion being special the way it was, the crowd were treated to the rare spectacle of the real Vince McMahon as he told the story of how he had first met Shawn and Marty and how he always new they were destined for great things. He confessed to being hurt when Marty told him he was jumping ship to WCW, that he wished things had worked out better for him and he held no ill will towards him. It was the truth Marty admitted to himself. In actual fact he had spoken more to Vince over the years than he had Shawn. Vince had even asked him, several times, if he would be willing to come back but his uncertainties about Shawn had meant the answer was always no. Until now.

 

He hadn't really been able to get out of this one. It was a fan thing. They had voted "The Rockers" best ever tag team in a magazine poll and he couldn't disrespect their decision by not showing up.

 

Marty tuned out Vince's voice early on in the proceedings and turned his full attention towards Shawn. He couldn't take his eyes off him, but it had always been that way. Unfortunately Shawn never looked in his direction once. He could only put that down to the fact that Shawn really wanted nothing to do with him anymore and by the time the ceremony was over Marty was ready to get the hell out of there and as far away from Shawn as he could.

 

Vince had other plans however. He had organized a huge after show party at the hotel, at which attendance was mandatory for the entire company, and himself.

 

* * *

 

Within five minutes of arriving at the party, Marty was ready to down his third double vodka. He hadn't seen Shawn yet, not since the ceremony but just knowing that he was there somewhere, so close yet so far was causing some severely conflicting emotions in him. Oh well, he'd be drunk soon anyway so it wouldn't matter.

 

He sunk his drink in one gulp and headed towards the bar to get another when a low, rasping laugh from across the room caught his attention.

 

"Shawn." He whispered, turning in the direction of the sound. There he was, looking even more beautiful than he had done in the ring, maybe because he was surrounded by friends, a new lover even. He was looking real cosy with Irvine. So cosy it made Marty feel sick. Irvine was hanging all over him, touching him and smiling and making googoo eyes and Shawn was loving every minute of it.

 

It hurt, seeing him with someone else. It shouldn't. They hadn't been together in over ten years and their split had been less than amicable. He'd had lovers himself since then, many lovers, it was completely unrealistic to expect that Shawn had remained celibate, unfair too but that didn't change the way he felt. Though he hated to admit it, even to himself, Marty was still in love with Shawn. He hadn't realised it until that moment but he realised it now and it hurt, big time.

 

Suddenly he wasn't sure he would be able to stay in the same room as Shawn, no matter how much he'd had to drink. He'd have one more then he'd go make his excuses to Vince.

 

He made his way back to the bar and ordered another double. With one last look over at his ex lover he said...

 

"On second thought, make that two." He drank the first straight down, feeling he needed it, but when it came to the second he took his time. For some reason he couldn't bring himself to leave just yet, as painful as everything was for him. The drink, combined with his earlier nerves and current misery, was making him feel light headed. After a couple of minutes the room began to sway and with a groan, Marty pushed his drink to one side and rested his head on the bar in front of him.

 

"You don't look so good." Someone said. Marty's drink addled brain was pretty sure he recognised the voice but he couldn't put a name to it just now. He looked up, ready to tell whoever it was that there was nothing wrong with him another drink wouldn't cure, but when he saw who was talking he was struck dumb.

 

Shawn grinned at him.

 

"You're not gonna puke on my shoes are ya?" He asked.

 

"What do you want?"

 

"Gee, what a welcome. I just thought I'd come say hi but if you..." He turned to leave and Marty panicked.

 

"NO! Don't go. I didn't mean, I just..." He was tongue tied too, his brain and his mouth definitely weren't on the same wavelength at the moment and his heart was beating so fast and so loud it was almost deafening him. "I'm surprised is all. I didn't think you'd wanna talk to me." He said when he finally started to make some sense to himself.

 

Shawn frowned, showing Marty a few more wrinkles on his forehead than he'd had before.

 

"Why wouldn't I?" He looked genuinely puzzled.

 

"Well, I... things didn't end real good with us and I... You practically ignored me in the ring earlier."

 

"Oh. Sorry." Shawn answered sheepishly. "I didn't mean to. I just finished a match, I was still in character, playing up to the crowd. Sometimes it's hard for me to get back to what's real ya know?" Yeah, he did know. He'd felt that way himself many times but Shawn, when they'd been together Shawn had always know what was real. Shawn had kept him sane. "To tell the truth, I was a little nervous."

 

Now it was Marty who looked puzzled.

 

"You were nervous?" Shawn nodded. "What of?"

 

"You. It's been a long time Marty. A hell of a long time, I wasn't sure YOU'D wanna see ME."

 

"Shit." Marty laughed out loud, he couldn't help it. "I spent all damn day wanderin' around the arena by myself and the last twenty minutes before the ceremony hidin' in the john I was so scared of seein' you again."

 

"I guess that makes it official then, we're both damn idiots." Both men chuckled, relieved that despite everything they could at least still talk.

 

"So, How you been? Really I mean, not the shit I see on TV."

 

"Pretty good. Works good, the school's doin' great, the fans... they just blow me away. My back kills me most of the time but it's nothin' I can't handle."

 

"What about personally?" He was fishing, he knew it but he wanted to know about Irvine, wanted to know that Shawn was happy. The blond sighed heavily.

 

"That's not so good. Bein' on the road kinda messes with your love life. Most people can't deal with that and I try to avoid datin' guys at work ever since..." He trailed off but Marty new he meant since him. It made him feel bad and good in equal parts to know that he'd meant that much to Shawn.

 

"You're not seein' anyone? I thought you and Irvine were..."

 

"Chris? Nah, no way. We're just friends."

 

"The way he was hangin' all over you earlier I think he'd like to be more."

 

"Nah. Chris is a natural flirt, he's like that with everyone, it doesn't mean anything. Besides, he ain't my type. I kinda always had a thing for brunettes."

 

A shiver ran down Marty's spine then. Shawn's low gravely voice just dripped with suggestion, it was begging to whisper sexy things into a lover's ear and Marty felt himself harden at the thought. God, he wanted Shawn, as much now as he ever had, and he had to restrain himself from dragging the other man into a fierce kiss.

 

"I'm sorry Shawn. About the way things ended between us."

 

"Me too."

 

"I just... Our careers were just takin' off and we were so busy with that we forgot about each other and..."

 

"We just grew apart. It happens."

 

"No. I pushed you away. I couldn't handle the pressure of a career and a relationship and I took it out on us, on you. I said a lot of things I didn't mean and did a lot of things I shouldnt've and I hurt you. I'm sorry, I really am. I wish I could go back and do things differently."

 

"I'm sorry too, but that's in the past now. Let's leave it there huh." Oh so slowly, Shawn leant forward, so slowly in fact that Marty didn't even notice until their faces were just a whisper apart. Blue-grey eyes searched his face, for what he wasn't sure, then a tongue darted out to wet dry lips and all Marty could think about was how much he wanted to lick those lips himself.

 

Suddenly, those lips were pressed firmly against his and that tongue was teasing the seam, begging him to open up. Memories washed over him then. The first time he'd seen Shawn, his breath had caught in his throat he was so beautiful. Plucking up the courage to ask him out, he'd been so sure the answer would be no. Their first date, pizza and a movie, hardly romantic but somehow perfect anyway. Their first kiss, the reality had been so much sweeter than the fantasy. Making love to Shawn for the first time, he'd never know how he managed to control himself, he'd been so hard and Shawn had been so hot. The pain of losing Shawn, feeling like he'd never be whole, never be able to love again.

 

He couldn't have refused even if he'd wanted to. His eyes fluttered shut. He opened his mouth eagerly, desperate to reacquaint himself with Shawn's taste, and sighed into the kiss. Shawn sighed too and tangled his fingers in Marty's hair, pulling him closer, kissing him deeper until their breath became short and they had to break apart.

 

"I've missed ya Marty." The blond whispered huskily, need and arousal evident in his voice. Marty groaned, the knowledge that his kiss had affected Shawn that way making him ache with a powerful need of his own. He'd missed Shawn too, missed him so much it hurt. In the beginning it had hurt so bad Marty was sure he was going to die from missing him. "I've missed us."

 

"We WERE good together." He said softly, finally managing to muster up the strength to open his lust laden eyes.

 

"We were AMAZING together. No one ever did it for me the way you did. So uhm, my room's just upstairs, you wanna come up?"

 

//Fuck!// Marty's mouth ran dry. Surely Shawn wasn't suggesting... He couldn't mean... //Oh God!//

 

"Shawn, I want you, you wouldn't believe how much, but I don't know if this is such a good idea." Memories of their split rushed over him. He remembered Waltman getting in his face one time 'cause he'd done or said something to make Shawn cry. He didn't want to do that again. He wouldn't do that again. He wouldn't hurt Shawn. Not this time.

 

"Trust me. This is a VERY good idea." That southern drawl of Shawn's made Marty even harder than he already was and made his resolve weak.

 

"I don't wanna hurt you."

 

"I'm a big boy Marty. I know what I want and I know what I'm gettin' myself into. I'm willin' to take a chance, are you?"

 

For a moment, all Marty could do was stare while he thought about what Shawn said. Was HE willing to take a chance too?

 

"Hell yeah."

 

* * *

 

The elevator ride to Shawn's floor was pure torture, for both of them. The urge to pounce upon one another and make out right then and there was strong but age had granted the two men the gift of restraint and after ten years, waiting a few more minutes didn't seem like such a big deal anyway.

 

Physical restraint however was not about to stop the lovers from sharing hungry looks and licking their lips in anticipation. Shawn's gaze raked over every inch of Marty's body, coming to rest at the prominent bulge in the front of his jeans, and he groaned deeply. Marty almost caved, but he wanted this reunion to be special and he knew if he could just hold out for a little while longer it would be so worth it.

 

With just one more floor to go, the elevator doors slowly slid open. Marty prayed that no one got on, but his prayer went unheard. In stumbled an obviously drunk or stoned Latino, who immediately manoeuvred himself in between the two of them. Marty recognised him immediately as Eddie Guererro, they'd met back in WCW but their acquaintance had been just a passing one. Shawn however, seemed to know him quite well.

 

"Hey Eddie."

 

"Shawnie. Congratulations on the award essa."

 

"Thanks man." Eddie, swayed from side to side a few times then hiccupped, rolled his eyes and toppled sideways into Marty. Marty caught him and helped him back up to standing. Over the Latino's shoulder, he and Shawn exchange a concerned look. "So, where's Chris?"

 

Eddie sniffed.

 

"How should I know? Probably off somewheres making cow eyes at Oscar again."

 

"That explains a lot." Another look exchanged over the Latino's shoulder and Shawn mouthed the words 'Unrequited love'. Marty nodded his understanding.

 

"He doesn't look so good. We should get him back to his room before he passes out or somethin'."

 

"Yep. But I have no idea where his room is. Let's get him back to mine." //Fuck!// Marty cursed inwardly, maybe he should've fucked Shawn in the elevator after all. As if reading Marty's mind, Shawn added..."I've got a suite, he can take the spare room."

 

Twenty minutes and much sobbing later, Eddie was fast asleep in Shawn's spare bed. Marty couldn't help but feel sorry for him, it must be so hard, loving someone that much and knowing that the feeling wasn't returned and despite his earlier resentment of the man for intruding, he was sort of reluctant to leave him now.

 

"I feel bad for him." He whispered softly so as not to wake him. Shawn stared down at the man then nodded towards the door. He and Marty tiptoed over to it, giving the Latino one last pitying look before slipping through it and out into the main room. "Is he gonna be okay?"

 

"He will be, when he opens his eyes and sees what's right in front of him." The brunette frowned. "Brian's crazy about him, but right now Eddie's so wrapped up in Chris he can't see it."

 

"Kinda reminds you of old times don't it?" The two men moved into the master bedroom. Shawn sat on the edge of the bed and Marty sat nervously beside him.

 

"You mean Scotty."

 

"How many times did we have to carry his drunk ass back to his room before Vince caught him?"

 

For a few minutes they were both silent while they thought back to their early days in the fed and their early times together. It was Shawn who broke the silence.

 

"He really had it bad for the kid didn't he?"

 

"Broke his heart when the kid started dating Nash. Ya think Waltman ever knew?" Shawn shook his head and Marty continued. "Do you remember that night in Boston, when he caught the two of 'em makin' out backstage?"

 

"I remember. God, he got so wasted, I thought we were gonna have to spend the night in ER. I was ready to call 911, I had the phone in my hand when he started throwin' up." He shivered at the memory. "I was terrified."

 

"We both were, but he came round pretty quick after that. I'll never forget that night though. The two of us holdin' him while he cried it all out, both of us cryin' because we felt so damn helpless, and the whole time he kept tellin' us how lucky we were that we had each other."

 

A faint blush crept across Marty's cheeks then as he remembered that nights other events, they were burned into his memory for eternity. He wondered if Shawn remembered and he lowered his gaze, half afraid to meet Shawn's in case the answer was no.

 

"That was the night you told me you loved me for the first time." Shawn's voice was soft, full of emotion and Marty looked up, surprised to see Shawn's cheeks stained with a blush of their own. Blood thundered through his veins making his head swim and his vision blur. He didn't think he'd ever loved Shawn as much as he did right now and he needed him to know that.

 

"I still love you Shawn. I need you to know that before we go any further because if you don't feel the same, if this is just about sex for you..."

 

He didn't finish his sentence. He couldn't, Shawn's lips were pressed firmly against his.

 

"I love you too." Shawn's words were little more than a hoarse whisper against Marty's lips but they made him tremble with desire. "I couldn't not love you if I tried."

 

Oh God. Marty was sure his heart stopped beating for a second. Shawn loved him. After everything he'd done, Shawn still loved him. He didn't deserve this, he knew it, but he was damn sure gonna do his best to. He wasn't going to lose Shawn a second time.

 

They kissed again, deeper this time, harder. The years of separation, of missing and longing and regretting made them ache with need. Both men moaned.

 

Shawn's hands roamed Marty's back, caressing the taught muscular flesh beneath his shirt and finally coming to rest at his hip. He lifted his own hips slightly, leaning into Marty, pushing him back until he could no longer remain sitting and toppled backwards against the mattress, pulling Shawn on top of him as he fell.

 

Their lips remained locked together, their tongues tangling passionately, their breath coming in short, frantic gasps. Marty writhed desperately beneath Shawn, giving the other man the opportunity to slip his hands underneath him and grab a handful of his ass.

 

The feeling of Shawn's hardness pressing against his own as his hips were jerked roughly upwards was almost too much for Marty. He was so close already. Being with Shawn felt so good and so right, and it had been so long since he'd felt like this, he knew he had no chance of holding his orgasm at bay, but if the urgency with which Shawn was grinding against him and the god awfully sensual moans that escaped his throat now and again were any indication, he wasn't the only one.

 

When Shawn's lips began to move down over his jaw and throat, Marty let out a low growl of pleasure and when Shawn's fingertips began to caress him through his jeans, pressing hard against him and tracing the seam that ran between his cheeks, he lost all control over his body's reactions. He arched painfully.

 

"Fuck, Shawn I, I... Oh God yeah." He reached up, tangling his fingers in Shawn's long blond hair, pulling him closer. "It's been too long." One hand travelled down Shawn's back, tugging gently at his shirt until it came free from his jeans and Marty was able to slide his hand up inside.

 

"Mmmm. WAY too fucking long. God you feel so good."

 

"So do you. I'm almost there I..."

 

"Me too. Cum for me Marty." By that point, Marty couldn't have refused if he'd wanted to. He came, with an almost feral growl, his body convulsing violently as waves of pleasure washed over him. Shawn groaned, the look of ecstasy on Marty's face sending him hurtling towards his own climax, but where Marty shivered and panted for breath, Shawn just carried on grinding. He couldn't get enough, he wouldn't be satisfied until they were both utterly exhausted.

 

He planted a soft kiss on the curve of Marty's neck and slid his hands along his now naked sides, his shirt having ridden up almost to his armpits. Slowly, he slid his hands over the other man's chest, his rough fingertips tracing small circles around his hardened nipples, teasing him, then began to unbutton the shirt.

 

Once Marty's chest was fully exposed, Shawn's eager mouth moved south, licking a trail across the firm tanned skin, nipping gently and sucking tiny purple bruises into it.

 

"You taste good." He rolled a nipple round on the tip of his tongue making Marty whimper softly. "Mmmmmm. Wanna taste more of you." He abandoned Marty's chest then and moved on to his stomach, fumbling at the fly of his jeans, tugging and rolling until it at last came open and with a swift jerk, they were past his hips.

 

Marty looked down at Shawn. Despite having just cum harder than he had in years, he was already beginning to harden again and Shawn eyed the growing bulge in his shorts appreciatively, licking his lips before pulling the jeans further down. While Marty wriggled and toed off his shoes so he could kick off his jeans, Shawn hooked his thumbs under the waistband and pulled them down, finally freeing Marty's cum covered cock from it's sticky prison.

 

Both men groaned. Shawn dipped his head and flicked the tip of his tongue against Marty's swollen sensitive glans. He licked up a large dollop of cum and drew it back into his mouth, swirling it around and moaning before swallowing it down and repeating the action.

 

Every muscle in Marty's body was tight with sexual tension. He wanted Shawn to stop teasing him and suck him properly, yet the long, slow, tortuous licks to his aching member were providing him with more pleasure than he thought was possible.

 

"Shit, Shawn." he whined. "I'd forgotten what a tease you were."

 

Shawn abandoned Marty's cock then and began to lick his balls clean.

 

"Mmmmmm. I bet you've forgotten a lot of things." Shawn murmured between licks. "Don't worry, I'll remind you. Might teach you a few new things too." Shawn's words made his cock twitch and he jerked his hips involuntarily. Never in his life had he been as aroused as he was now. He wanted Shawn desperately, wanted him soul deep, even his bones ached with need.

 

He tried to speak, to tell Shawn what he wanted, he even opened his mouth but Shawn chose that moment to stop teasing and sink fully down on his straining cock. Wet, scorching heat surrounded his dick, sliding up and down and when the head of his cock bumped against the back of Shawn's throat, coherency became a distant memory for Marty.

 

A mumbled string of blasphemous pleas and whispered encouragement interspersed with sexual obscenities and caveman style grunts tumbled from Marty's slightly parted lips.

 

"Fuck, Shawn I...Yeah, Oh God yes. Aaahhh. So good. Mmmmmm more, please Shawn. Fuckfuckfuck. Holy Christ Shawn please. PLEASE!"

 

Shawn chuckled, from deep in his throat and let Marty slide from his mouth, causing the other man to whine in frustration. The frustration was short-lived however as Shawn immediately replaced his mouth with his hand, wrapping his delicate fingers around Marty's thick shaft and stroking it lightly.

 

"Please what?" He asked as he slowly kissed his way back up Marty's shivering body. "What is it you want baby?"

 

"I...I..." He swept his thumb over the tip of Marty's penis. "Aaaahhhh!"

 

"Tell me Marty. Tell me what you want and I'll do it." He slowed his strokes, almost to a stop and began to nibble at his lover's ear, breathing heavily and moaning into it, driving Marty insane with desire.

 

"I, I don't know. God Shawn please, just do something, anything, I don't care what, just do it. Please."

 

Shawn stopped his assault on Marty's ear then and looked down at him quizzically.

 

"You mean that? I can do anything?" He asked nervously.

 

"Yes, I mean it. God, Shawn, I'm dyin' here. Please."

 

"I wanna be inside you." He whispered, leaning forward and pressing his lips softly against his lover's ear. "I know you always said you didn't want that..." He added when he felt Marty tense beneath him. "and I never understood why. There's nothin' like it baby, nothin' in the world that feels as good. Your whole body just comes alive in ways I can't even describe. It's like everything else in the world just disappears, you forget everything, you stop caring, stop worrying, stop hiding. Nothing else matters to you except the person you're with and all you can think about is how fucking amazing it feels and how you never want it to end. Having you in me, it was so incredible, so right. I used to think God made me just for that. I wanna show you what that's like Marty. Just this once, I wanna be the one who makes you forget your own name. Please Marty, I swear if you let me just this once I'll never ask you for another thing as long as I live and afterwards, you can do anything you want to me. Anything at all, I just want this so bad I..." Finally he stopped talking and raised himself up on his elbows so he could see Marty's face.

 

Marty barely heard Shawn's plea. He'd gotten stuck at 'I never understood why'. Why HAD he always said no way to that? Fear, plain and simple. It wasn't that he hadn't wanted to, he'd thought about it many times, Shawn always seemed to love it, was always telling him how good it felt and Marty had brought himself off thinking about it more than once, he just couldn't bring himself to ask Shawn for it.

 

The problem, he realised now, was lack of communication. They'd been so young back then, so naive and unpractised at relationships, they were little more than a couple of horny teenagers. They'd loved each other unconditionally, there was no question about that, but they'd let their dicks do the thinking for them and completely ignored the need for conversation.

 

Unlike Shawn, their first time together was not the first time proper for Marty. He'd lost his virginity at seventeen to a guy old enough to be his father, a guy who's morality not only allowed him but encouraged him to seduce an underage boy. It had been a less than pleasant experience for the vulnerable young Marty, his seducer caring about nothing but his own release, taking him with only the briefest of preparation and leaving him sore, unfulfilled and ashamed.

 

He'd sworn after that, that he would never allow himself to be seduced again, that he would be the one who did the seducing. Ashamed of his past, ashamed of his weakness and poor judgement he'd never told Shawn why he couldn't do that, choosing instead to ignore his lover's pleas, unwittingly opening up a rift between them which would get bigger over time as Shawn began to resent Marty's apparent mistrust.

 

Time however had allowed Marty to see thing more clearly, allowed him a better understanding of his own self. He'd been an idiot. Shawn wasn't the man who had hurt him, wasn't anything like him. Shawn loved him, Shawn cared, Shawn wanted to make him happy and Marty could think of no better way to show him that he felt the same than to offer him that which he had refused for so long.

 

"Yes." He answered at last in a breathy voice, trembling equally with nerves and desire. "I want that too."

 

For the briefest moment, Shawn just stared then he leant in and seized Marty's lips in a heated, lust filled kiss. Marty kissed back with equal passion, roughly grabbing the back of Shawn's neck and dragging him down on top of him, never once letting the blond's lips escape his.

 

He spread his legs wantonly, stretching out until his toes bumped against the emptiness at the edge of the mattress, giving Shawn no choice but to climb between his thighs unless he wanted to end up on the floor. Twining the fingers of his free hand through Shawn's he guided them down to his ass, moaning softly as they gently began to kneed his flesh.

 

"Shawn. God, I want you so bad." He mumbled, his moans intensifying as another hand joined the first. He was half out of his mind with need, Shawn's skilled touch had driven him almost to the edge. He'd never wanted anything as much as he wanted Shawn right now but despite that, his arousal was laced with something close to fear. He was petrified. Shawn had no idea what it meant for Marty to give himself up the way he was about to, had no idea how difficult it was for him and the fact that he wanted this as much as, if not more than Shawn didn't make it any less difficult.

 

A slender finger tip teased his naked hole gently but firmly, hinting at penetration but not quite achieving it and Marty tensed again, involuntarily. Shawn broke the kiss and asked...

 

"You sure you want this?"

 

"Yes. God yes, I want this more than anything I just..." He trailed off, unsure how to tell Shawn that he was practically a virgin and also slightly embarrassed about the fact. Somehow though, Shawn knew what was wrong.

 

"You've never bottomed before have you?" Marty blushed all over, feeling stupid beyond belief. Forty one year old men shouldn't blush like schoolgirls at the mention of sex for Christ sake.

 

"Once." he admitted after a moment. "It was a long time ago, before we even met. I was just a kid and it wasn't even remotely good."

 

"It'll be good this time baby. I promise. God Marty I'm gonna make it so good for you."

 

The promise sent a shiver of excitement through Marty's body the likes of which he'd never felt before. Nerves not withstanding, he was more than ready for this. He reached up a hand and brushed the tips of his fingers across Shawn's cheek, loving how the other man sighed and nuzzled against his palm.

 

"I know." He said simply, and he did. There was no doubt in his mind whatsoever that this was going to be the most incredible night of his life. He just hoped that it would be as good for Shawn.

 

The two men shared a kiss, sweeter and more heartfelt than any that had gone before. Marty thought idly that it felt as though Shawn was kissing his soul. After a few moments, Shawn pulled back.

 

"Turn over baby." The blond whispered huskily, swallowing hard when Marty did just that. "Damn!" Shawn's tone told Marty that he appreciated the view and Marty liked that. He liked it a lot. "This is new." One finger traced the outline of a dragon tattoo between his shoulders.

 

"I got it about a year ago."

 

"I like it. It's incredibly sexy." Shawn pressed his lips against it, making Marty shiver. The skin there was still so sensitive.

 

A warm, tender caress settled upon his bare backside then, Shawn's hands roamed his flesh, stroking and squeezing. Marty wanted more of that touch and he raised his hips just slightly. He heard the other man draw in a sharp breath and raised them a little higher. Shawn groaned and squeezed a little harder, making Marty groan too.

 

The bed began to move then, the mattress dipped and springs creaked. Marty guessed Shawn was probably undressing and a few seconds later, learned that he had guessed right. Shawn lay down on top of him so they were skin to skin all over. His chest hair tickled Marty's back as he began to kiss and nibble at the sensitive skin on the back of his neck. He sighed with pleasure and drew his shoulders up, seeking more of Shawn's flesh.

 

He got much more. Hands, everywhere, massaging, relaxing, nipples stiffened by arousal pressing into his back, Shawn's erection, hot and hard nestling between his ass cheeks. Shawn, thrust lazily a few times, giving Marty a small taste of what was to come.

 

"You like that?" The blond asked when Marty pushed back against him. "You like the way it feels?"

 

"Uh huh, yeah."

 

"You want more? You want me inside you?"

 

"Oh God, yeah."

 

"Mmmmmm. I want that too. I've wanted it for so long." His hips continued to move slowly as he spoke and Marty twitched and moaned in response.

 

"Shawn please." The older man rasped. "Now."

 

"Nuh uh. Gotta make you ready first." Of course Marty knew this already, he'd done the same for Shawn too many times to count, and others since, but right now he was beyond rational thought. Suddenly Shawn's heat disappeared leaving Marty feeling cold. He whimpered in protest but Shawn soothed him with a delicate kiss to the centre of his tattoo. "Ssshhh, it's okay. I'm not goin' anywhere."

 

Slowly, he began to move downwards, exploring every square inch of exposed flesh with his mouth, kissing, licking, biting. Each time his lips ghosted over Marty's spine, the prone man mould shiver and Shawn would start to suck. By the time he was finished a line of small round love bites in varying shades of purple ran down the centre of Marty's back, coming to a halt in the hollow at the base of his spine.

 

Though the marks stopped, Shawn's mouth did not. He continued on, moving lower, covering the soft fleshy mounds of Marty's ass in tiny baby kisses, letting him enjoy the sensation of being touched lovingly down there.

 

"How does that feel baby? Good?" Marty nodded mutely. "It only gets better. I'm gonna do something now, something no one probably ever did for you before and I want you to tell me if you like it okay?"

 

Marty nodded again. In truth, he wasn't sure he'd be able to tell Shawn anything. His brain was rapidly turning to mush and along with it, most of his higher brain functions but if that's what Shawn wanted, he'd do his best.

 

With that, Shawn positioned a hand on each buttock, thumbs turned inward and very gently, eased them apart. Marty felt vulnerable and exposed, but Shawn had done a wonderful job of relaxing him, his remaining fears were few and quickly deserting him. He was eager to know what Shawn had planned, how he was going to make him forget his own name.

 

For a few moments, he lay there perfectly still. He could feel Shawn's eyes burning into him, devouring him. It made his cock twitch and he had to fight to keep from humping the mattress. It seemed like forever, his need growing stronger with each second that passed, before the other man finally touched him again.

 

The first delicate touch of Shawn's wet tongue to his exposed hole made Marty shudder with desire, the second, a little firmer, made him curse.

 

"Fuck, Shawn." He managed to choke out. Shawn had been right about no one ever doing that to him. He'd had lovers fall apart on him when he did it, but no one had ever returned the favour and he was totally unprepared for how intensely pleasurable it was.

 

Shawn repeated the action, chuckling at Marty's reaction.

 

"You like that?" He asked. Marty answered with a groan. "Tell me."

 

"I...I..." He sputtered hoarsely. "It's..." He gulped heavily in an attempt to clear his throat and make speech a little easier. He was only marginally successful. "It's good. I like it." He somehow managed.

 

"How much do you like it?"

 

"Wha...? A lot. I like it a lot." Marty was finding speech far easier than he'd anticipated though he still had to work hard to form the words and make them intelligible.

 

"Want me to do it again?" Now that was probably the stupidest question he'd ever been asked.

 

"Yes, yes." he breathed.

 

"Tell me." Shawn demanded huskily, his voice thick with lust.

 

"God, Shawn please, please I..." Thankfully, he didn't have to finish his sentence before Shawn once again leant forward and resumed his attentions. Long, hot, wet strokes of his tongue to Marty's sensitised flesh soon had the brunette moaning and quivering with pleasure.

 

After several, almost agonising minutes in which Marty prayed simultaneously for mercy and for this to never end, Shawn stepped up his assault. Marty was already relaxed, saliva had softened the skin around his opening and Shawn knew he was ready to move on to the next stage.

 

He moved back, just a little and blew lightly on the moist flesh, delighting in the tiny goosebumps that appeared there. He heard Marty gasp and smiled to himself. He rolled his tongue and very gently pressed the pointed tip against the dark pucker wiggling it around until he felt the surrounding muscle give, then easing it inside.

 

He continued the motion. The more he moved his tongue, the more relaxed Marty became and the more tongue Shawn was able to give him and soon Marty was writhing desperately on the bed beneath him, rolling his hips and pushing back. Wanting, needing more, and Shawn gave him more.

 

Sliding his tongue out from Marty's body he used the tip to collect up some droplets of saliva that were dribbling down over his balls, dragging them back up to his hole, then, he took one finger and began to massage the moisture into the opening.

 

Marty's whole body trembled with anticipation. He knew what was coming and he couldn't wait. Willing himself not to beg, knowing that had barely started yet, he bit down hard on his lower lip. Not quite hard enough to draw blood but hard enough to hurt and, he hoped, temporarily distract him from what Shawn was doing.

 

It worked. As Shawn's finger slid into him, he was able to remain somewhat in control of his body. He wanted desperately to push back against Shawn but resisted the urge. He wanted to last and he thanked God that he'd already cum once or he'd surely have lost it by now.

 

Shawn's finger twisted inside him and he couldn't hold back his groan of pleasure or keep his hips from thrusting lightly against the bed, but the hand resting firmly in the small of his back put a stop to any further movement. Slowly, torturously, the finger slipped almost fully out then back in again. Again it twisted, the other way this time, and this time...

 

"Aaaahhhh fuck!" Starting at the spot Shawn had just touched, pleasure more intense than anything he'd ever felt before, sparked through Marty's whole body. It bubbled through his every nerve, shooting down his legs and arms making his fingers and toes tingle and his cock jerk violently, up his spine temporarily fusing all his vertebrae together then in an instant, dissolving them completely, into his brain, making his head pound and his vision blur before finally exploding behind his eyes like a firecracker in a can.

 

For a minute he was sure he would pass out from the intensity of it, but he didn't. He wasn't sure why, maybe it was something to do with Shawn's soothing voice whispering to him.

 

"You okay baby?"

 

"Uh huh, yeah, do that again." Shawn did just that. Another fleeting touch to that magical spot made Marty buck so ferociously that Shawn's hand was no longer enough to keep him still. "Oh God!"

 

Shawn chuckled again. He seemed to be doing an awful lot of that just now Marty mused. Bastard.

 

The next touch was much less brief. Shawn's finger stroked his prostate firmly over and over again until Marty was writhing unashamedly, pushing back against him and gasping for breath. Marty could only guess how much of a slut he must look right now, legs spread, ass in the air moaning like a whore while Shawn fingered him, but he didn't care. Shawn had been right, all he could think about was how good this felt, how right, and they hadn't even gotten to the fucking part yet.

 

When Shawn switched from stroking to stabbing, Marty practically screamed. He was fit to burst.

 

"Oh shit yeah, that's it. Fuck, I'm gonna cum Shawn I..."

 

Before he realised what was happening, Shawn had reached between his legs with his free hand and taken hold of his straining cock, squeezing it tightly around the base, preventing him from reaching his climax.

 

"Uh uh, you don't cum till I'm ready for you to cum." Marty gave a small, pained, whimper but Shawn held onto him until the feeling had more than passed. He withdrew his finger then and a still trembling Marty heard him fishing for something , most likely lube, in the nightstand. When it seemed he had found it, he leant forward and whispered... "I think you're ready for another finger now."

 

//Oh God!// The prospect of another finger made Marty groan loudly. His cock was rock hard, leaking profusely, straining and pressing firmly against his stomach even on all fours as he was.

 

Shawn flipped the cap and squeezed a generous amount of gel onto his fingers. He let it warm for a moment, his skin so hot with arousal that it took mere seconds, then gently began to massage it into the other man's eager hole. He squeezed out another dollop, replacing the cap swiftly and tossing the tube down on the bed beside him before carefully slicking up just two fingers.

 

The second Shawn touched him, Marty gasped and instinctively pushed back against the lubed digits. He wanted them inside him, wanted that so bad he almost hurt. He grumbled softly when he was denied, squirming uncontrollably while his lover teased and tickled him.

 

At last, Shawn stopped his teasing and eased his fingers into Marty's body. Marty immediately stopped squirming and held perfectly still, relishing the slight stinging sensation caused by the stretching of his skin.

 

"Ohhhhhh yeah, God Shawn that feels so good." He rasped.

 

"Mmm. Looks good too. You have such a beautiful ass, so tight, and so hot. So fucking perfect. You look so fucking sexy like that babe, with my fingers in your ass. I can just imagine how hot it's gonna be watching my cock slide into you." As he spoke, he moved his fingers in and out, making sure he touched Marty's sweet spot each time. Marty's muscles contracted around his fingers, drawing a long, low growl from the blond. He scissored his fingers then, stretching Marty out a little more. "I can hardly wait."

 

"Now Shawn, do it now." Marty was beside himself with lust. Every little thing Shawn said was having a profound effect on him, driving him closer and closer to the edge, it was sheer willpower alone that prevented him from cumming on the spot.

 

"Not yet, you need at least three fingers before you're ready for this." He withdrew his fingers and took hold of his cock, slapping it against Marty's ass before reaching out to retrieve the lube.

 

This time, Marty's body protested the intrusion, three fingers being considerably thicker than two. It wasn't the worst pain he'd ever felt, not by a long shot, but it burned. He tensed involuntarily, and for the first time, doubt began to creep into his mind. Could he really do this? If Shawn's fingers were this difficult to take what was his cock going to feel like?

 

He thought back to his and Shawn's first time. He hadn't been nearly as considerate, hadn't really know what to do to make it easier, but Shawn had never once asked him to stop, or slow down, never given any indication that he was in pain, just urged him on, begged for more. Shawn had trusted that the pleasure would outweigh the pain and Marty's memories of that night, of the way Shawn's body had reacted to his own told him that that trust had not been misplaced. Pushing his doubts to one side, Marty sucked in a harsh breath and held it as he waited for his body to grow accustomed to the new sensation.

 

"Marty, babe, you need to relax, breathe. I know it hurts a little but it'll get better real quick, I promise."

 

"I'm okay." He panted as he exhaled. "I just... go slow, okay."

 

"Slow. I can do slow. I can make this last all night if you want me too."

 

"Fuck." Marty groaned. Shawn was gonna kill him, there was no way he'd be able to survive a whole night of this. Deciding that a few moments of pain was worth not having to wait any longer he took another deep breath and pushed back. "Can't wait that long. Need you in me, now."

 

"I can't." Shawn said softly, his voice full of concern. "You're not ready yet. I don't wanna hurt you any more than I have to." Emotion made Shawn's body tremble, Marty could feel it at the point where they were joined, the gentle vibration permeated his flesh, making his whole body sing.

 

"Please. I don't care if it hurts I want you Shawn, want you so bad, don't make me wait. Please."

 

A moment of indecision then Shawn said softly...

 

"Okay." He gave his fingers a final twist before pulling them out and again grabbing up the lube. He coated himself quickly, moved in closer and with one hand on Marty's hip and the other wrapped firmly around the base of his cock, lined himself up with Marty's glistening, wet hole. "You really sure about this?" He asked.

 

Marty nodded enthusiastically, and very, VERY slowly, Shawn pushed forward. It seemed like forever before he was able to breach the tight ring of muscle and when he finally did, Marty couldn't help but let out a strangled gasp.

 

"Jesus Christ!" He hissed. Shawn paused with just the head of his cock inside.

 

"You okay?"

 

"Never better."

 

"Want me to stop? If it's too much I..."

 

"NO!" Marty all but screamed. The pain was already fading, pleasure quickly taking it's place tenfold and he didn't want it to end, ever. "Don't you fucking dare stop."

 

Taking that as a sign that Marty wanted him to continue, he eased a little more of himself inside then stopped, waiting another moment for Marty to adjust. A little further forward and he stopped again. It was almost torture for Marty who just wanted Shawn to fuck him senseless but he understood what Shawn was doing and why, and his heart swelled with emotion.

 

At last, after what Marty was certain must have been hours but was actually not much longer than a minute, Shawn was fully seated, the tip of his penis resting gently against Marty's prostate but not moving. Both men moaned and panted, and they both trembled with the effort of holding still.

 

"Shawn, please." Marty's voice was barely audible and it shook as much as his body did. He repeated himself, a little louder this time. "Please."

 

Shawn placed one hand between Marty's shoulders and gently but firmly pushed him down into the mattress, leaning forward so that the entire length of his body lay flush against him. A sort kiss against his ear made the older man shudder and he turned his head so that he could capture Shawn's lips with his own. They swallowed each others moans, devouring, consuming, neither able to get his fill of the other.

 

"So good." Shawn rasped, the need to breath making him reluctantly pull back just a fraction. "You feel so good."

 

"You too. Better than I ever imagined." For the first time in his life, Marty felt complete. He hadn't realised until this very moment that anything had been missing in his life but now... Now that he had Shawn buried deep inside him, spiritually and emotionally as well as physically, he knew he wanted him so stay there for eternity. "Don't ever leave me." He pleaded, tears pricking at his eyes.

 

"Never. Never leave you. Gonna love you forever." Shawn slid one hand atop Marty's, twining his fingers with his lovers and squeezing gently. The soft pressure was enough to bring Marty back and he returned the gesture.

 

"Shawn. Fuck me please. Fuck me hard, I need..." Shawn rolled his hips, the minute motion causing his cock to brush lightly against Marty's sweet spot. "Aaaahhhh. Oh God. Again."

 

"Like this?" He repeated the action, making Marty cry out.

 

"Yeah, just like that." Shawn continued to roll his hips, his gentle thrusts making Marty writhe and squirm beneath him, spreading his legs wantonly and pushing back, desperate for more. Over and over Marty whispered "Please Shawn, please" like a mantra and after a while, Shawn took pity on him.

 

He moved his hands to Marty's hips, lightly caressing every inch of skin he encountered on his way, and grasped them firmly, dragging them both up onto their knees. He drew back once more and thrust again, harder this time. Marty's body thrummed with excitement and he bucked hard as Shawn scored a direct hit to his prostate. Several more thrusts, each one a little harder and a little deeper than the last, each one hitting the same tiny spot deep inside him and causing him to cry out as the most intense pleasure sparked through him.

 

Shawn sunk his fingers into Marty's hips, dragging the other man back onto his engorged shaft. There would be bruises there tomorrow but Marty didn't care, he loved the other mans passion, his desperation, loved that it was he who was the focus. He craved Shawn's touch anyway it came.

 

"God Shawn, more, harder." He panted as his lover's thrusts grew erratic, indicating that he was close, and was as disappointed as he was surprised when Shawn went suddenly still. "What's wrong?" He asked breathlessly, fearing the worst, though he wasn't really sure what that was.

 

"Nothing." Shawn was similarly breathless. "I just...I'm not gonna last much longer and I want you to see me when I cum. I wanna be able to see your eyes when you cum and...I..." He stuttered briefly and then trailed off but Marty knew what he was thinking and the thought of it brought him closer to his own undoing than any of Shawn's caresses.

 

"I want that too." He answered softly, shuffling forward so that Shawn slipped from his body and rolling onto his back. Staring up at Shawn through passion glazed eyes, he spread his legs and lifted his hips before reaching down and taking the other mans cock in his hand.

 

Shawn groaned loudly at the touch, nibbling on his bottom lip as Marty guided him to his opening and eased him inside. They both took a moment to calm themselves then Marty slipped his hands around Shawn's neck and pulled him down into a fierce, demanding kiss.

 

As their tongues tangled, Shawn once again began to thrust. Marty met each thrust with one of his own, clinging tightly to his lover, rubbing his now painfully hard length against the soft downy skin on Shawn's belly, the friction it allowed driving him almost to the edge.

 

"Shawn." He panted, reluctantly breaking the kiss. "I'm gonna cum." Shawn pulled back. Marty whined as the friction ceased and his cock was left needy, but Shawn quickly wrapped his hand around it and began to stroke, quelling that need. His eyes went wide and he searched for Shawn's, finding them, capturing them.

 

"Let it go baby. Cum for me, cum hard." Shawn told him as he continued to stroke his heated flesh.

 

"Yes. Fuck. That's it I...I'm...AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" He bucked violently, one last time and exploded into Shawn's unceasing hand, his body convulsing wildly as his orgasm ripped through him. He was coming apart at the seams or so it felt but he knew Shawn would keep him together and he desperately tried to convey that trust through his eyes which hadn't left Shawn's once.

 

"You're so beautiful. I love you so much." Shawn mumbled and he moaned loudly as the aftershocks that still rippled through Marty's body, dragged his own climax from him and he emptied his entire being into the man beneath him. "I love you I love you I love you." He whispered finally collapsing, spent on top of the equally spent Marty.

 

"I love you too. More than anything." Came Marty's sleepy reply. Shawn chuckled.

 

"Tired?"

 

"A little." He yawned. "You wore me out." Another soft chuckle, followed by a sigh.

 

"We should get cleaned up." He made a half hearted attempt to pull out but gave up when Marty clenched around him and said...

 

"No. Don't go, not yet." Shawn snuggled back up to Marty, rolling them both slightly onto their side so that they could remain joined without his weight resting on Marty's chest.

 

"Mmmmm. That's better." He mumbled through another yawn. "Feels nice, having you inside me like this, just being there." Truth was, Shawn had always been inside him emotionally, it was only fitting that he should now be there physically as well. "Besides, if you try and pull out now you'll probably drag all my internal organs out with you. I think I'd rather wait until you slide out naturally." Shawn was silent for a moment.

 

"Then you have a problem." He said after a few seconds.

 

"Huh?"

 

"I don't think I'm ever gonna be soft enough for that. Just being in the same room as you makes me harder than hell." Now it was Marty's turn to be silent. When he was done thinking he answered.

 

"Not a problem. We'll just stay like this forever." The day's events were catching up to him rapidly now. He was drained, keeping his eyes open was becoming a battle, one he knew he wasn't going to win and they finally slipped shut.

 

Shawn yawned widely himself, listening to his lovers soft, contented snores and followed him into sleep. As his own eyes drifted shut, a small smile played across his lips and he whispered...

 

"Forever. Sounds good to me."

 

THE END  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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